Nermin Uçtu / Manisa, Oct 22 () - “These wounds, fractures will heal. But I do not know what to do with this trauma.”
Ayben Atabey, refers to the deadly Ankara suicide attack where she has been wounded with hundreds others, while at least 102 people were killed.
Atabey, teacher in a primary school in Aegean Manisa province since 1990s, voiced Dogan News Agency the struggle of injured people for holding on to life, after the massacre who has left behind more than wounds on bodies, a psychological and societal trauma over Turkey’s people.
"We were there for peace"
“We have wanted to join the protests for peace. In fact, I imagined this kind of an attack could occur, however I had thought this would not happen in the center of Ankara” said Atabey, married and with two children.
Atabey said the blast has erupted while she was walking towards the demonstration area, adding when she heard the sounds of the explosion near the train station, she failed to run to the scene, and fall down. She saw the pieces of bodies, realized this was a bomb attack.
“I was wounded because of case shots; I have fractures on my arm and leg. Among the eight shots, four could not be removed from by body. Thus, I cannot walk” she added.
"I had to receive therapy mostly for my students"
According to the teacher, the trauma over the Ankara blasts is extremely painful, for her and many others.
Atabey said she has been under psychological treatment and she has not been able to sleep at nights, waking up with fear and having crying jags.
“I had to receive psychological treatment because I am a teacher. I know that I cannot stand in front of my students, my children, with this psychology. I have fear that my students would grow anger. Anger would destroy us. As teachers, we instill our children peace, beauties of life, and the value of human lives. Thus, I only want our children to think of positive things for the future” she added.
"I had to wait for two hours, injured"
Days after Ankara attack, Atabey remembers the moments right after the attack:
“I tumbled down, could not move. I had a lot of bleeding. I had to wait for around two hours, injured. The scene was horrible; words fail to describe it. I was in the hospital for three days, in Ankara.”
Atabey also referred to the trauma of other injured people, stressing the post-trauma over the Ankara attack involved the anxiety for a new potential bomb attack around them.
“That is how we feel. It is true that our wounds will heal after the treatment. However only time will show, what will this attack leave behind in our lives” she said.